Have you thought your life was going one direction, but then God sent you down a new track? Did you follow the Leader? How did it turn out?
I loved being a district pastor’s wife. I enjoyed supporting Dick and helping him meet the needs of thepeople both in the churches themselves and in our small communities. I used to read the local paper to see what was going on and let my husband know so he could expand his ministry. I also wrote for the local paper, reporting on what ourchurch was doing.
At a certain point, I became president of the Church Women United, which allowed me a greater fellowship andinfluence with women of the community. When Dick and I returned from Europe and the Holy Land, we both taughttravel programs in every church in the county, every school, and civic club. It was all fun!
One of the things I always looked forward to was attending pastors’ meetings. I loved meeting other ministerialspouses and sharing stories.
This was Wyoming, so towns and pastoral families were widespread. It was stimulating to hear what the other pastorswere doing and the challenges they were having.
Then one day the Lord led us to accept the General Conference’s invitation for Dick to go into the U.S. Army as achaplain. When I announced that we were
leaving, one of the women of the Church Women United said that after working with me, her understanding and appreciation for Adventism had grown greatly. That made every minute I had given worth it!
I knew almost nothing about the military, but there are books for Army wives, and I read all I could get my hands on. And I must tell you, I loved being a chaplain’s wife as well! It was totally different. For instance, I had never attended a coffee social, so Ifelt intimidated. Our sponsor’s wife accompanied me, and
I felt more comfortable until she loudly announced across the room, “Ardis doesn’t drink coffee.” I wanted to find a place and hidemyself! But when I got to the serving table the colonel’s wife patted me on the arm and said, “In thirty plus years in the Army Ihave never drunk coffee.”
Another difference from being a district pastor’s wife was that my husband was sent to war—literally, gone for a year, 364 days. We had a five-month-old daughter and a two-year-old son when he left for Vietnam. Even now when we hear churchworkers bemoan leaving their family for two or three weeks, we just groan.
In this new ministry, I had the privilege of associating with many chaplain spouses of various denominations and the spouses of the other officers. I became active in army activities like the Officers’ Wives Club. I learned a lot about leadership.For the most part they were wonderful people and I met so many wonderful Christians, people who were living their love ofJesus.
We always anticipated the annual Adventist chaplains’ get-togethers, but I missed getting together regularly with other Adventist pastors and their wives. The conferences where we were stationed generally ignored us even though Dick informed them that we were there and hoped to be of service. We were never invited to ministers’ meetings or included in the work of the conference in any way, although Dick did do a couple of school weeks of prayer through the years.
Sometimes Adventist administrators and ministers asked: “Why did you leave the ministry?” That was hurtful! I personally felt that I was still a pastor’s wifeand we were in ministry. We were still active in the local Adventist Church, but it wasno longer our responsibility. Most of the time
that was wonderful, but sometimes frustrating. In the various places we were stationed, Iworked with the children’s departments and the church schools as our children got older.
After almost 24 years in the Army with many different assignments, opportunities, and advances in rank, the Leader changed our direction again. Dick was asked to go to the General Conference as director of AdventistChaplaincy Ministries. I was asked if I would like a job as a secretary, but I declined—I was not a secretary. Other than that, I was totally ignored. It was so different than being a pastor’s or chaplain’s wife. With the Army, every time we were transferred, we were assigned a sponsor who met us, introduced us to the community, helped us get housing, andanswered all the questions one has when moving to a new area. They always invited us to go with them to the first socialfunctions. I missed that! I intended to volunteer with Adventist military personnel and the local church. I did, in fact, serve as head elder of ourlarge church for two years. But then God intervened once again and led me in a totally unexpected way. I served for ten years in the GeneralConference Women’s Ministries department, seven of those as director, traveling the world. I loved meeting the women anddoing what I could to make a difference in their lives and the life of the church; it was completely meaningful and rewarding. Oh, the stories and adventures I could tell of how God led!
But then another change came our way. Retirement called. My parents needed us, so we joyfully followed the Leader to Colorado. We chose to live near Campion Academy because we thought we could contribute in ministry there.
Retirement has been good. Now I’m able to choose my activities, like oil painting once again. But I cannot imagine notcontinuing to be involved in ministry. We are busier than ever. I find my joy and contentment in spending time with ourchildren and four grandchildren, but also in supporting our local church and conference. I continue to work with Women’sMinistries on the local and conference levels and lead the communications for our church. For several years Dick and I ledthe drama class at Campion Academy. It was so much fun getting to know the kids. But oh, the challenges they face! I don’t know where the Lord will lead me next, but since I didn’t expect any of the ways He led in the past butenjoyed it all, I look forward to following the Leader into the future as well.
Reflection Questions
1. Did reading Ardis’ story stimulate any ideas about how you might expand your circle of influence beyond the Adventist community (if you’ve not already done so)?
2. What was your reaction when Ardis mentioned years of not being treated as an Adventist pastor’s spouse?
3. Are there ministers’ spouses you know who need greater inclusion and if so, what is one way that youcould reach out to one or two of them?
Ardis Dick Stenbakken retired as director of the Women’s Ministries Department at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. She and her husband live in Loveland, Colorado. In 2002, Ardis was chosen as one of Andrews University’s 100Outstanding Women of the Century, and in 2005 was chosen by the Association of Adventist Women as a Woman of the Year. But she is most proud ofher two children, their spouses, and four grandchildren.